This Not Complaining Thing Sucks

How can it be so hard to not complain? I didn't know...wasn't aware...that I complained so much.

It doesn't help when, on top of having to get all my hair chopped off, they go and give me a bad highlight job. Now, I look like an acne ridden boy with trailer trash blonde hair and bad roots. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

I must say it is surprising to me how challenging I am finding this rehearsal period. Between feeling picked on, being seperated from Jax, the hair abuse, the break-in and the two car breakdowns in seven days things have not gotten off to a smooth start. Yet, I am so happy in other ways. Getting a pay check every week is splendid and living with Sylvie and Leon is like living at Second City - no end of laughter. Chemainus is sleepy and little and my cast members are all a delight to work with. Despite being away from Jax, I am well aware of how blessed I am to have him in my life and spring fills the air with the smell of apple blossoms and wood smoke. It is a mishmash of very good and very bad in every day. Suppose that is what They call Life.

We open the show a week tomorrow. I have very few feelings about that, save relief. Ooops, that sounded like complaining again.

Wellllllllll...if you're gonna do it, you might as well go big.

Things that I don't like: haivng to worry about birth control, the current price of gas, the news that Stephen Harper is actually gaining popularity in recent poles, knowledge that people like Henry Picton are out there in the world, not getting to see Jax for most of April, paying for cable when I don't even watch TV, my ugly too-blonde hair, not being able to lose the extra few pounds I gained in Europe, having a hard time finding someone to do the flash updates on my home page, asking Jordan to do me favours, getting dramatic emails from friends telling me all the negative things they feel about me, feeling guilty unless I email them back, not having a spiritual centre to attend while being here, not having enough hours in my day, getting up in the morning, being cold, people giving me unsolicited advice, finding I have too much month at the end of my money, slow internet, being told that my partner can not be put on my comp list because he isn't my spouse, the tradition of taking a man's last name when you marry them, Immigration red tape, cooking, feeling like I am failing, junk mail, that all my CDs were stolen, living out of suitcases, not being able to let go, the word cope, having a chiropractor in town that is so busy you can't get in to see him, people that don't email you back, that nobody seems to submit answers on my Konkin Questions page, feeling like crying but the tears being stuck, smoking, not being eligible for a mortgage, being seperated from #206, waiting for it to get better, it only getting worse.

There. Purged. I would say that the 21 days could start tomorrow, but since I have to go show my hair to the designers tomorrow, that would be a foolish plan. Or is there a way of saying 'this is crap' without it being a complaint?

No, I didn't think so.