What's Going On With Me?

I woke up this morning at ten to five. In the morning. I was awakened by the same discomfort that I have had for several nights now. My feet are hot and feel swollen, my body is aching and it feels like my heart is racing.

At ten to five, I got out of bed and came here, to the TV room. I grabbed my MacBook and started googling my symptoms. From the sounds of it I could have anything from hypothyroidism to a neuropathy. Although I dislike western medicine, I am considering going to a doctor. Because something is up with me.

I feel loaded with odd and unusual symptoms these days. Weird neck pain, wild mood swings, strange digestive activity, disrupted sleep, physical cramping in my limbs, tingly, hot feet. It worries me about me. Am I bringing all of this on myself with the self-induced stress that I create with my feelings of discontent? Or am I feeling more discontent than usual because of something physical that is going on in my body? I am so tired and want to sleep, but feel uncomfortable in my own skin.

Hell, I am feeling uncomfortable in my own life.

My emotional anxiety is embarrassing sometimes. Tonight I talked to two friends of mine that I haven't spoken to in forever. And they were both dealing with the kind of life events that REALLY shake a person up. There I was, commiserating with their moods, and yet I had nothing concrete to complain about. Boring stuff like 'I don't like living here' or 'I am lonely and friendless' or 'three years later and I still don't know what it is I truly want to do with my life!!' In fact, in some areas my life soars while most of my friend's lives falter. Why can't I celebrate those successes and ignore the areas where I am stuck?

Why are my feet feeling this way? What is my physical discomfort all about?

What if I have some strange brain tumor or life threatening cancer?

Which reminds me, I gotta answer my Bucket List question.

Just in case.