The Kinshellas

Since last I blogged, something truly weird and wonderful has happened.

Before I tell you, I will reiterate the story of my past, quickly. At four years old my mother escaped my terribly abusive and alcoholic father. Names were taken out of phone books, restraining orders were developed and we went into a type of hiding. Ever since, my father has only been spoken of in distant ways like someone from another time and place. About five years ago, mom found out that he had moved back to Moose Jaw and was very upset, but he seemed to be keeping to himself and life went on.

Last week, a woman facebooked me telling me that she was a long lost cousin of mine from my dad's side. She told me that that side of my family has wondered about my whereabouts for a long time. She filled me in on the death of my grandmother and my half-brother and told me all about my sisters. Weird to think that I have sisters - half-sisters, but sisters none the less. She has sent me pictures and sure enough, there they are all blonde and blue eyed like myself. This cousin of mine remembers us playing together when were super little, riding ponies and playing on the farm.

She is even in contact with my dad, which is the only piece of this that I don't like. I found out that he has been reading about me in the paper due to River Street publicity and wants to come and see my show. I assume - and hope - that if he does, he will do so from afar and not attempt to talk to me afterward, but who knows? I am not really afraid of him, not anymore, but when he is drunk he is a bit of a monster. Surely, I don't need to worry about anything negative happening in this regard, but part of me wishes I never had to start thinking about any of this in the first place.

But the universe never sends you anything that you aren't strong enough to handle. And I am happy to get to know the rest of my father's side. It isn't their fault that he is a man inflicted with a dense pain-body. My cousin seems really friendly and positive and meeting new people - related or not - is always fun.

I am not like alot of people. I don't focus my identity on my genetics. I know that Who I Am is much greater than who I am genetically linked to. My family is a human family and I am part of It All...I love people because that is my default nature and I hate and fear people because I am human and have an ego. Perhaps this is why I don't have the same reverence for the traditional definition of 'family' that so many do. Maybe this is why I can't imagine feeling that my life will have been for nothing if I don't procreate.

Anyhow, it has been quite the event. Luckily, I got to go out to my friend's cabin this weekend (shortened considerably by the rainy, BC-ish weather) and concentrate on what is really important...which is...sucking all the juice out of what I am seeing may be a very very short summer.

That being said, I see some sun so I am going to tan.

'Til next we speak, check out my new Konkin Question!!