3/4 Gal

It could be a symptom of being on the fourth day of my cleanse and having consumed so few calories that I am starting to lose brain cells, but last night before I fell asleep I was engulfed with a huge wave of disappointment about ... well... everything.

It occurred to me that I am a jack of many trades and a master at none. I am a pretty good actor, pretty good singer and pretty good dancer. I have an emerging talent as a director and I am a passable choreographer. I believe I have some raw writing skills and an eye for design and when it comes to business, I have inherited the MacLise gene - sort of. It's like I am 3/4 the way to being excellent at a lot of things, but that is all.

Also, because I am not a 'stayer' I often experience many journeys in an almost fashion. Luckily, I doubt this will be true of my marriage and I am glad to be able to say that I completed college. Still, my wandering ways have led me to this jack of all trades, master of none conclusion. Most of the time I am okay with this, some of time I am devastated by this and last night, I was simply disappointed.

You know what I mean? Have you had those moments when you look at yourself and your life and you grade them at a mediocre B- which in a sense hurts more than a committed F? Or is it just me? Perhaps I am too extreme, preferring Fs to Bs and always disappointed when It's not an A. I just wish I knew I was excellent at ONE THING. Excellent, not very good or pretty good or good enough or better than most, but EXCELLENT.

Let's hope my 3/4 mood is due to my meals being made up of steamed broccoli, almonds and water.

Here's hopin' this detox will purge me of my toxic belief systems as well.