Toronto Nostalgia

I never miss Toronto. There is no exaggeration in me when I say that I have not missed Toronto for one second of one day since the moment I drove outta there in Aidan's old beat up car in 2003. It was one of those clean break ups, with no residual anger, guilt, longing or doubt. It was over. I knew it, Toronto knew it and when I said goodbye I never looked back.

But what I do miss, every now and then, is my gang from that time period. I miss having SJ as my other half. I miss having house parties all the time and hanging around in our cozy, cheap living rooms 'til the wee hours. I miss going to the Salvation Army and the Goodwill and Value Village every second day and Sundays when we all gathered at the greasy ol' Tennessee for a $5 brunch. I miss having eighteen friends all living a few blocks away...and trust me, the irony that I had to live in Canada's largest city to have my friends all live close by is not lost on me. I miss how bonded we were because we were all just starting out in this industry...in our love relationships...in being truly adult. We were babies with big dreams and we had each other ...and even though I don't miss Toronto, I do miss that.

The 404 Gang in Vancity brought me some of that feeling, for sure. There we were, all in our late twenties, a little bit more jaded and a little bit more lost. Still, we had each other and like the lyric from Avenue Q describes "it sucks to be us, but not when we're together". Yup, Vancouver was good times as well, but it didn't have the same youthful innocence of Toronto. The gang was older and thus not quite as closely interwoven.

Ah, but those Toronto days...the nights Norbert, Aidan and I would sit in the office and dream up fantastical plans for our uncertain futures. The evening escapades to Dutch Dreams and innumerable movies we rented from the Blockbuster just outside our back door. Hanging on the street car and relating our audition horror/success stories. The dark, scummy fun of that concrete jungle!

I think it is time I went back for a visit. Not sure when or how or why, even, but something seems to be calling me back. Just for a couple days...to remind myself that that part of my life really did exist.

Suppose curiosity is killing my cat.

That, or it's all that T.O. smog.