Thursday, June 19, 2008
Excuses, Excuses
We are a whiny bunch, aren't we?
Human beings have made a habit out of finding excuses for everything. It seems to be almost against our human nature to take 100% responsibility for anything. It's easy to see how this is true for other people, but one has to ask, how is it true for myself? Right now, a night before opening night, when everything is in chaos and it feels like we'll never be able to pull the show off, blame becomes a hot commodity. I watch it. If any of us adhered to 'he amongst you without sin, cast the first stone' every single one of us - including myself - would have to stay silent. But it seems the harder someone is sucking at their own crap, the more blame they lay on other people's crap. Actors love to blame direction or writing, directors love to blame diva actors or their production crew, production crew likes to blame the lack of proper tools or facilities, the producers love to blame the director and the media, dancers like to blame choreographers and choreographers like to blame the bad coffee. It is a vicious circle with not one person stopping to say 'until every single thing I do is being done to the very best of my ability and unless their isn't one more thing I could rehearse or perfect or research or communicate I shall stay silent and work harder'.
I am trying to practice what I preach. Of course, when I am feeling the most insecure and afraid, I fall to blame...but at least now I can hear how lame ass my blaming is. "I need more light" or "the hat is stupid" or "s/he isn't picking up their cues" is just an easy out. It all might be true, but that isn't the point. The point is I don't want to become an unconscious, habitual blamer or victim. I'm gonna give it my best shot.
So, here is the part where I ask you to pray/hope/send good energy for my show. We open tomorrow and god knows if we are gonna be able to pull off an entertaining, high quality show. I am terrified and exhausted, but so incredibly anxious to get this sucker on its feet and get on with enjoying my summer. 48 hours from now this bird will have jumped from its nest...
...I just don't hope I end up regretting the flight.
Click here for the show times and ticket info!
Human beings have made a habit out of finding excuses for everything. It seems to be almost against our human nature to take 100% responsibility for anything. It's easy to see how this is true for other people, but one has to ask, how is it true for myself? Right now, a night before opening night, when everything is in chaos and it feels like we'll never be able to pull the show off, blame becomes a hot commodity. I watch it. If any of us adhered to 'he amongst you without sin, cast the first stone' every single one of us - including myself - would have to stay silent. But it seems the harder someone is sucking at their own crap, the more blame they lay on other people's crap. Actors love to blame direction or writing, directors love to blame diva actors or their production crew, production crew likes to blame the lack of proper tools or facilities, the producers love to blame the director and the media, dancers like to blame choreographers and choreographers like to blame the bad coffee. It is a vicious circle with not one person stopping to say 'until every single thing I do is being done to the very best of my ability and unless their isn't one more thing I could rehearse or perfect or research or communicate I shall stay silent and work harder'.
I am trying to practice what I preach. Of course, when I am feeling the most insecure and afraid, I fall to blame...but at least now I can hear how lame ass my blaming is. "I need more light" or "the hat is stupid" or "s/he isn't picking up their cues" is just an easy out. It all might be true, but that isn't the point. The point is I don't want to become an unconscious, habitual blamer or victim. I'm gonna give it my best shot.
So, here is the part where I ask you to pray/hope/send good energy for my show. We open tomorrow and god knows if we are gonna be able to pull off an entertaining, high quality show. I am terrified and exhausted, but so incredibly anxious to get this sucker on its feet and get on with enjoying my summer. 48 hours from now this bird will have jumped from its nest...
...I just don't hope I end up regretting the flight.
Click here for the show times and ticket info!
Posted by Krista J. Konkin at 10:55 AM
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