I Hate Porn

The truth is, I didn't always. In fact, for quite a long time I was perfectly okay with it. But perhaps that was because it never infiltrated my actual daily life much. Or because I never gave it much thought. But I have slowly educated myself about the subject a bit more, from certain points of view, I concur, and have come to see that porn gives this world nothing of value. And why would I want to take part in something that adds nothing of value to this already value-lacking world? Why would I want my husband to bring it into his world - subsequently bringing it into our relationship and probably our home. Well, i don't want that.

Not that I am ignorant. I know that nine out of ten males are viewing porn consistently. And not many of the female partners of those men are accepting of it. Accepting or not, men are doing it. The question just becomes are they going to do it as a secret, shameful act or are they going to do it out in the open regardless of how it makes their partners feel? Why force my husband into doing something behind my back? Something that seems relatively harmless? Secrets can only harm a marriage. But then again, why should I compromise a boundary about not wanting to have porn in my life? Is it true to say that by my husband choosing to have it in his life, he is polluting my environment? Like second hand smoke? Like a litterer throwing their garbage into a beautiful pond? Or can I decide to not have it in my life while not being affected by whatever choice he needs to make for himself?

It's a toughy.

I see both sides of the coin. I can draw a boundary and he can choose to respect it or not. But my boundaries need to be about me. Enforcing boundaries on another never works. It goes right back to the smoking issue, for instance. One can never say - you must stop smoking - to another person. It will only have the opposite affect. But one can say, I will not choose a partner who smokes. It might seem like a manipulative, scheming route to the same outcome, but I assure you it is not. We can all make choices. If I choose to not have a partner that smokes, the man can choose to smoke and thus not be my partner, or not smoke and be my partner. Just because he might desire one outcome more than the other doesn't take away his choice in the matter.

Is porn a big enough deal that I am ready to say that I choose to not have a partner that looks at porn? I don't think so. Not yet, anyway. But it could get there. All I know is that when porn has been in a room, it leaves an energetic after taste that makes my stomache hurt. The vibrational frequency of porn is so low that I can physically feel it having a negative effect on the energy of my home. That doesn't seem right to me. That is ... that's ...

well, it's something to think about, at the very least.