Thursday, April 24, 2008
Sorry
Sorry I haven't written. I have run into a bit of a wall. It is a big wall. Made of money. Or the lack thereof.
Sorry I can't find a way out of my glum, scared mood. To see in my bank account numbers that reflect where I was when I was in Toronto back in 2001 and 2002 drop kicks my heart. Suddenly, I hate theatre again and I hate this house and I hate Moose Jaw. And under all of those superficial things, yeah, I hate me. Hate me for winding up in the exact same place time and time again.
Sorry that I ever took that Real Estate course because every time I hit a wall, the course taunts me. It beckons me back, luring me in with promises of money and security and all the things that my life just doesn't seem to consistently produce.
Sorry that I wrote such a know-it-all blog giving advice. Not really feeling like I am someone who should be giving advice. Obviously, I still have a lot to figure out.
Sorry to say, but I didn't marry for money. As broke as I may be, my husband is no better. I didn't marry him for his income earning potential and never care until I hit these walls and then I resent him for not being able to take care of me.
Sorry to go all 1954 there. My feminist takes a nap when I get scared.
Sorry that I got fired from my program and that I don't know where to find a second job now that I can fit into my River Street schedule. Sorry to want so much more from my life.
Sorry for thinking that laminate flooring would be easy to install.
Sorry, but I still don't know what I want to do. Or maybe I am just sorry that the things I do want to do don't pay well. Or maybe I am just sorry that I can not figure HOW to make the things I want to do pay the kind of money I need to EAT.
Sorry to be 31 and still lost.
Sorry that I haven't written, but I wanted to get on top of my funk before I wrote. I used to use this blog as a place to go and write about my heart aches. Sorry to have forgotten how to do that...although I am not sorry that it is because there hasn't been much heart ache to share.
Sorry for being so sorry.
Sorry I can't find a way out of my glum, scared mood. To see in my bank account numbers that reflect where I was when I was in Toronto back in 2001 and 2002 drop kicks my heart. Suddenly, I hate theatre again and I hate this house and I hate Moose Jaw. And under all of those superficial things, yeah, I hate me. Hate me for winding up in the exact same place time and time again.
Sorry that I ever took that Real Estate course because every time I hit a wall, the course taunts me. It beckons me back, luring me in with promises of money and security and all the things that my life just doesn't seem to consistently produce.
Sorry that I wrote such a know-it-all blog giving advice. Not really feeling like I am someone who should be giving advice. Obviously, I still have a lot to figure out.
Sorry to say, but I didn't marry for money. As broke as I may be, my husband is no better. I didn't marry him for his income earning potential and never care until I hit these walls and then I resent him for not being able to take care of me.
Sorry to go all 1954 there. My feminist takes a nap when I get scared.
Sorry that I got fired from my program and that I don't know where to find a second job now that I can fit into my River Street schedule. Sorry to want so much more from my life.
Sorry for thinking that laminate flooring would be easy to install.
Sorry, but I still don't know what I want to do. Or maybe I am just sorry that the things I do want to do don't pay well. Or maybe I am just sorry that I can not figure HOW to make the things I want to do pay the kind of money I need to EAT.
Sorry to be 31 and still lost.
Sorry that I haven't written, but I wanted to get on top of my funk before I wrote. I used to use this blog as a place to go and write about my heart aches. Sorry to have forgotten how to do that...although I am not sorry that it is because there hasn't been much heart ache to share.
Sorry for being so sorry.
Posted by Krista J. Konkin at 10:36 PM
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