Diet Joy

There is a lightness to my feelings these days. A softness to my sadness and a chiffon giddiness to my joy. Leon calls it Diet Joy because it doesn't have all the calories. Which isn't to say that this Joy doesn't have the same profound content. It is just that with all of its profound-ness, this kind of joy flies free and floats. There are less attachments and so much more peace.

Eckhart talks about painbodies. There have been days when mine has felt too heavy to go on. Those days seem far away. Right now, I feel I am consciously neglecting to feed my painbody and it is starving for attention. The case of 'too much happiness' when we find ourselves looking for ways to destroy what is so good. Yet, by practicing being present and aware and awake, I see my Ego for its manipulation and I refuse to play. I hear my painbody whimper for food and I hide the can of tuna. This doesn't mean I don't feel the pain. I feel it still. But right now I am able to feel it from afar...watch it...allow it...and then wave to it as it quickly evaporates. This peace is the reason for my ability to say that 2008 has been the happiest most life changing year of my life. This peace - not the house or the husband or the wedding or the company or the money or the honeymoon. Those things have been outcomes of the real reason - this peace.

Bubbly diet seven up. Mineral springs gurgling in the yellow sun.

Clouds made of nothing but puff and magic and yet strong enough to hold up dreams.