I Hate Weddings

Never in a million years did I ever think that I would find myself, one day, at Judi's Wedding Shop in Moose Jaw, standing all alone amongst a gaggle of women, staring at rows of taffeta gowns and trying not to burst into tears. There were eighteen brides in the store and I was the ONLY who was there alone. Every bride was the star in her own little show. One by one, they would emerge from the dressing rooms, clutching a two big or two small cloud of white to their boosom and their perspective fan clubs would burst into an array of ooooohs and ahhhhhs, snapping pictures and clapping. I shouldn't be doing this alone, I thought enviously. But there I was. The girl who has denounced weddings her whole life was now planning one. It was an awful moment. And it has definitely influenced my newest decision...

I don't want to have a wedding.

The whole thing is just appearing to be too much stress. There isn't anyone interested or available to help me - save for my mother and Leon - and the idea of spending the next six months mired in details of my own wedding is nauseating. Designing my invitations alone. Writing out my invitations alone. Booking my venue alone. Getting quotes all alone. Trying on dresses alone. Boo. Boo, boo, boo, boo. Leon is amazing, truly, and has promised me that he will get involved as much as I need him to, and has even agreed to come to the bridal store with me, but I know he doesn't really want to. He just feels badly that he is the only friend I have to share this with. Sweetest man alive, I swear. Yet, I don't want to do that to him and I definitely don't want to do that to ME, so no wedding. Instead, we have come up with a possible alternate plan.

Get married at city hall or somewhere else as easily accessible and low maintenance. Sign our documents and make it legal in the next month or so. Then, after I am done my four weeks of SEP classes, we whisk off to a honeymoon. We can find a beautiful spot one night on the resort to steal away - just him and I - and under the moonlight exchange our intentions. Then, in the summer, mom can hold a big party for us out at the lake and perhaps Barb can give us a party in September at her home in North Vancouver. Maybe at one of those party's we will do a bit of a ceremonial ring exchange in front of witnesses...or maybe not. Whatever. We will miss out on gifts (which when you are two actors who own a house, could really come in handy), but we will also forego a dozen arguments, save over $2000 and I will escape having to do it all alone.

Leon feels badly, of course. He thinks that I am having to give up a dream of sorts and is scared that I will end up bitterly disappointed that THIS will be how I get married. But I figure it is fitting. In some ways I haven't started to believe in weddings and marriage, I have just started to believe to Leon and KJ. So...

There it is. I might return to the bridal shop to try on some dresses, just for the fun of it...since I won't be getting the chance to wear one those feminine wonders. And I will still flip through my Bride magazines, now and then. But that is all...

The only thing I wanna worry about from here on in is getting a good base tan.