Saturday, November 03, 2007
En Instead of Dis
Courage.
I wonder why so many people are so good at discouraging others. It is almost a default place for most people to go. You ask them if something is possible and at the very best they will give you a "well, it could be, but...". At the very worst you are answered with a comprehensive list as to why said something is very much NOT possible and, in fact, a totally foolish idea.
It also sucks when you share a dream or a plan with someone - in this case you are not asking their opinion at all, you are simply wanting to share - and they respond with something like "well, hmmm, that sounds nice, but...". Usually they feel like they are being helpful because they are warning you against all the potential obstacles. What is up with that?
Must be the reason I have heard it said so many times that if you have a dream in the seedling stage, do not share it with anyone, but keep it secret. Too many people do not know how to care for seedling dreams and, because they don't have any dreams of their own, are eager to tear yours up by the roots.
As an experiment I think it would be cool if I stopped myself from responding that way from here on in. Even if someone asks my opinion about doing something that I think is a terrible idea, I will only say encouraging things. This doesn't mean I am going to LIE and tell someone who is about to choose to put up wallpaper borders that I LOVE wallpaper borders and think that they look great in home decor. But perhaps I will simply say "if you like wallpaper borders and they will make you happy, GO FOR IT!"
If they ask me "do YOU like wallpaper borders?" I will answer no. If they ask why not, I will tell them that they just aren't my thing, but I will then assure them that if it is something that they like, they shouldn't let anyone or anything stop them. En instead of dis courage.
Not the easier route, but definitely the road less traveled.
I wonder why so many people are so good at discouraging others. It is almost a default place for most people to go. You ask them if something is possible and at the very best they will give you a "well, it could be, but...". At the very worst you are answered with a comprehensive list as to why said something is very much NOT possible and, in fact, a totally foolish idea.
It also sucks when you share a dream or a plan with someone - in this case you are not asking their opinion at all, you are simply wanting to share - and they respond with something like "well, hmmm, that sounds nice, but...". Usually they feel like they are being helpful because they are warning you against all the potential obstacles. What is up with that?
Must be the reason I have heard it said so many times that if you have a dream in the seedling stage, do not share it with anyone, but keep it secret. Too many people do not know how to care for seedling dreams and, because they don't have any dreams of their own, are eager to tear yours up by the roots.
As an experiment I think it would be cool if I stopped myself from responding that way from here on in. Even if someone asks my opinion about doing something that I think is a terrible idea, I will only say encouraging things. This doesn't mean I am going to LIE and tell someone who is about to choose to put up wallpaper borders that I LOVE wallpaper borders and think that they look great in home decor. But perhaps I will simply say "if you like wallpaper borders and they will make you happy, GO FOR IT!"
If they ask me "do YOU like wallpaper borders?" I will answer no. If they ask why not, I will tell them that they just aren't my thing, but I will then assure them that if it is something that they like, they shouldn't let anyone or anything stop them. En instead of dis courage.
Not the easier route, but definitely the road less traveled.
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