Sunday, June 24, 2007
No Going Back
Once you've used expensive soap, there is no going back.
Standing in the shower and scrubbing myself with one of my birthday gifts...an organic, all natural, luxury soap...I became a convert. First off, I have never been a big bar soap girl. Secondly, perhaps because of the first, I would never spend a lot of money on a bar soap. So, opening up this soap was venturing into a new world - something that is becoming an everyday occurance for me. With the expanding-my-boundaries mindset that I have adopted, I dipped it into the water and placed it on my skin. It felt like a combination of silk and butter. Shocked and surprised I also noted that after the shower was done my skin did not feel taut and dry. It was eye opening. Ah, smashing all my stories to bits, one by one.
Standing in the baking aisle at the grocery store buying bread-making ingredients while my partner is out golfing with the guys. The story I hold about that? Well, that I would never become the kind of woman who stays at home baking bread while my male partner is out golfing/fishing/shooting hoops/hunting/drinking beer/insert-whatever-male-oriented-activity-you-would-like-here. I talk myself off the ledge by reminding myself that I would be buying these ingredients even if I was single. And that the last time my partner golfed was three years ago. Not that my fears are even about golf or bread. Still, I note the story that I tell about such things. Story smashing is needed.
Other Konkin stories I question? That it is normal for me to sustain injuries while in a show, that I hate exercise, that marriages simply don't work, that I am too old to go back to school and that creative professionals don't make good parents.
Another story that I have watched disolve before my eyes: kick ass, voluminous and passionate sex isn't totally necessary in a partnership. Obviously, I haven't ever really known what it was like to have that kind of sex life or I would have never fully believed that. Like expensive soap, that kind of sex ruins you for the mediocre. I never again want to be with anyone that doesn't desire me so much that he can't be bothered to undo my jeans but rips them off instead. And the once a week factor...what was I thinking? Something that good for the soul should be part of every day. Couple that with the stardust of love, mutual future dreams and laughing like you're at Yuk Yuks and DUDE...
There's no going back.
Standing in the shower and scrubbing myself with one of my birthday gifts...an organic, all natural, luxury soap...I became a convert. First off, I have never been a big bar soap girl. Secondly, perhaps because of the first, I would never spend a lot of money on a bar soap. So, opening up this soap was venturing into a new world - something that is becoming an everyday occurance for me. With the expanding-my-boundaries mindset that I have adopted, I dipped it into the water and placed it on my skin. It felt like a combination of silk and butter. Shocked and surprised I also noted that after the shower was done my skin did not feel taut and dry. It was eye opening. Ah, smashing all my stories to bits, one by one.
Standing in the baking aisle at the grocery store buying bread-making ingredients while my partner is out golfing with the guys. The story I hold about that? Well, that I would never become the kind of woman who stays at home baking bread while my male partner is out golfing/fishing/shooting hoops/hunting/drinking beer/insert-whatever-male-oriented-activity-you-would-like-here. I talk myself off the ledge by reminding myself that I would be buying these ingredients even if I was single. And that the last time my partner golfed was three years ago. Not that my fears are even about golf or bread. Still, I note the story that I tell about such things. Story smashing is needed.
Other Konkin stories I question? That it is normal for me to sustain injuries while in a show, that I hate exercise, that marriages simply don't work, that I am too old to go back to school and that creative professionals don't make good parents.
Another story that I have watched disolve before my eyes: kick ass, voluminous and passionate sex isn't totally necessary in a partnership. Obviously, I haven't ever really known what it was like to have that kind of sex life or I would have never fully believed that. Like expensive soap, that kind of sex ruins you for the mediocre. I never again want to be with anyone that doesn't desire me so much that he can't be bothered to undo my jeans but rips them off instead. And the once a week factor...what was I thinking? Something that good for the soul should be part of every day. Couple that with the stardust of love, mutual future dreams and laughing like you're at Yuk Yuks and DUDE...
There's no going back.
Labels: bread, change, golf, love, partnership, sex, soap, storytelling
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