Sunday, June 03, 2007
A Long Way From Graduation
My mother has always been excellent with a flyswatter. Watching her with one of those things in her hand is truly observing art in motion. She has a 98% accuracy rate and prides herself on never letting a fly go unswatted in her presence. The sun is shining in Chemainus, the flies buzz around The Basement and man, I miss my mother.
Yesterday I played that game where you ask the universe a question and then grab a nearby book, randomly open it up to a page and read. Whatever you read, you apply to the question that you asked. It is like a literary version of using a magic eight ball. So, after receiving a hurtful comment on one of my older blog posts, I walked over the other side of my room, picked up Miguel Riuz's The Four Agreements and opened it up to a random page. The first thing I read..."Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering." SPOOKY. Perfection really is everywhere.
Last night in the show I fell down during Anything Goes. Onto my ass. Boom. Right there in the very front row. I went to spin and the ultra slippery floor took me and spun me and placed me directly on my butt. Ahhhhh, it was humiliating!! But what do you do? I was in shock and the audience was concerned, but the only option was to pick myself up and just keep on tapping with a big smile on my face. Once I got backstage I burst into one of the longest belly laughs I have had in awhile. Luckily, I have been laughing alot lately at the absurdity of my Ego and the piccadillos Life keeps throwing me. Unfortunately, my Artistic Director - a man I admire and respect - happened to be in the audience. When I apologized to him, he just laughed as well and congratulated me on finishing the number. "That is all that matters!" he said. Hmmmm, another life lesson.
For any of you who have a little extra love in your reserves, please send it out to my friend whose name I won't type yet. Her long term relationship has ended, surprisingly to her, and her whole world has been toppled upside down. We all shared her faith in this relationship and were waiting for the wedding or baby announcements, so my heart is a little broken for her. It was only a year ago that I was toppled, trying to find my way upright again, and doing it in pretty isolated environments - and what I know is that if I was able to do it, she will. She is one of the strongest ladies I know.
Leon has moved out of The Basement for June to house sit for a fellow cast mate. He is only six blocks away, but the apartment is quiet without his whistles and deep, bass morning voice. It was hard to go to seperate residences last night after the show, but kinda peaceful as well. It gave me a chance to come home and make some tea and watch a Deepak video and slowly shave my legs and journal and hog the bed. Plus, it will give us some space as we work through some of the more confusing issues we must face (see post below). Kathianne Lewis told me this morning that being in love is great if you can concentrate on the connection - the love itself - which will transcend you instead of simply becoming attached to the trigger. So, I will let myself miss him a bit, but mostly celebrate all the girly things that Sylvie and I can do without that male presence around.
Lastly, my bedbug bites have stuck around long enough to cause a bit of a systemic reaction and I now have a generalized rash all over my arms and neck. Egad. My hamstrings are getting better though and my voice will hold up if I stay dedicated to taking good care of myself. Self care, humour, not taking things personally, love versus attachment, picking yourself up and finishing what you started...
It's Life University and every breath is a class -- and, like it or not, you can't help but get the credits.
Yesterday I played that game where you ask the universe a question and then grab a nearby book, randomly open it up to a page and read. Whatever you read, you apply to the question that you asked. It is like a literary version of using a magic eight ball. So, after receiving a hurtful comment on one of my older blog posts, I walked over the other side of my room, picked up Miguel Riuz's The Four Agreements and opened it up to a random page. The first thing I read..."Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering." SPOOKY. Perfection really is everywhere.
Last night in the show I fell down during Anything Goes. Onto my ass. Boom. Right there in the very front row. I went to spin and the ultra slippery floor took me and spun me and placed me directly on my butt. Ahhhhh, it was humiliating!! But what do you do? I was in shock and the audience was concerned, but the only option was to pick myself up and just keep on tapping with a big smile on my face. Once I got backstage I burst into one of the longest belly laughs I have had in awhile. Luckily, I have been laughing alot lately at the absurdity of my Ego and the piccadillos Life keeps throwing me. Unfortunately, my Artistic Director - a man I admire and respect - happened to be in the audience. When I apologized to him, he just laughed as well and congratulated me on finishing the number. "That is all that matters!" he said. Hmmmm, another life lesson.
For any of you who have a little extra love in your reserves, please send it out to my friend whose name I won't type yet. Her long term relationship has ended, surprisingly to her, and her whole world has been toppled upside down. We all shared her faith in this relationship and were waiting for the wedding or baby announcements, so my heart is a little broken for her. It was only a year ago that I was toppled, trying to find my way upright again, and doing it in pretty isolated environments - and what I know is that if I was able to do it, she will. She is one of the strongest ladies I know.
Leon has moved out of The Basement for June to house sit for a fellow cast mate. He is only six blocks away, but the apartment is quiet without his whistles and deep, bass morning voice. It was hard to go to seperate residences last night after the show, but kinda peaceful as well. It gave me a chance to come home and make some tea and watch a Deepak video and slowly shave my legs and journal and hog the bed. Plus, it will give us some space as we work through some of the more confusing issues we must face (see post below). Kathianne Lewis told me this morning that being in love is great if you can concentrate on the connection - the love itself - which will transcend you instead of simply becoming attached to the trigger. So, I will let myself miss him a bit, but mostly celebrate all the girly things that Sylvie and I can do without that male presence around.
Lastly, my bedbug bites have stuck around long enough to cause a bit of a systemic reaction and I now have a generalized rash all over my arms and neck. Egad. My hamstrings are getting better though and my voice will hold up if I stay dedicated to taking good care of myself. Self care, humour, not taking things personally, love versus attachment, picking yourself up and finishing what you started...
It's Life University and every breath is a class -- and, like it or not, you can't help but get the credits.
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