Turning The Other Cheek

Sometimes you gotta take the hits. Sometimes you gotta cease the fire of defensive comebacks and just allow people to judge you as they will. Sometimes you gotta take your director's notes, even if you think he or she is out to lunch, and simply say thank you. It ain't the easiest choice and it can feel like you are allowing yourself to be beaten up, but sometimes it is allowing the hits that causes you to grow the most.

The trick is to never believe what other's say about you - be it good or bad. Someone notable once said that you can't let praise or criticism get to you - it's a weakness to get caught up in either one. The trick is keep loving yourself through it all - to always stay on your own side, even if everyone else turns against you. Easier said than done, I know. I seem to be living in a cess pool of criticism these days. But I am not a victim and on some level I have invited it -- to learn what, I am not yet sure. Possibly to keep strengthening my belief in myself. Possibly to keep building up the backbone that I so recently misplaced.

I am not proud of some of the choices I have made. But I have done the best I knew how to do. Where I have made strong choices, I strive to acknowledge my growth and where I have failed, I strive to use my failings to gain compassion for those I once judged for the same failings. I also know that I have been judging some people around here lately pretty harshly, so I am not surprised to find myself creating a backflow of judgement upon myself.

Ah, we live, we learn. I suppose I could crawl into a ball and hide from the world (and don't get me wrong, I REALLY kinda like that idea). Or I could just say I'm sorry to those I hurt, thank you to those who feel it necessary to point out where I've come up short... and then shosholoza. My other option seems to be summed up nicely in Hubbard's words...

To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.

And really, I'm too young to be dead.