Contentment

Happy New Year.

I made it through 2006. There were nights and mornings and moments in between I did not think I would. But I did. And the thing is there have been aspects of 2006 that were life changingly GOOD as well as life changingly SUCK ASS. So, as I have said before, and you will forgive my redundancy, it has been a Six Flags roller coaster ride.

I am hoping that 2007 will be more of a smooth, merry-go-round type of year. In fact, I intend it.

And finally, I would like to officially introduce you to someone. Ladies and Gentleman, put your hands together for: Jax Matthew Atkinson....

This has been one of the fabulous teeterings that I have alluded to in a few past blog posts. Jax. We met in the stars and have been seperated by Regina until this weekend. I needed to have this New Year's Eve weekend to confirm that I hadn't dreamed him up before letting you all in on it. And this weekend was magical. Perfect really. Singing last night on Pender was so mcuh fun. I love Pender. And having Someone To Watch Over Me was a blissful bonus. His presence in my heart is overwhelming at points and, of course, in true Konkin fashion, our connection is going at quite the clip which can make me clutch the sides of my roller coaster cart and scream OHGODIAMGOINGTODIE! But he is sweet and patient and kind and, being that he is a writer, he has a very seducing way with words. Also, because he has just moved here from England, he is charming and witty and makes me laugh. And, because he isn't 24, he wants the same things I want and is not afraid at all of going after them. We already putter about the apartment brushing our teeth and laughing like we have been together for years. It is surreal and wonderful and scary. Scary because It has the potential to be Big. And my heart is pretty newly mended together. So, I will try to go somewhat slowly and give myself and my heart all the room we need to swell and writhe and ache and overflow.

Which may prove simpler than one would think because in a week I leave for Europe. And on Wednesday I meet with Jeremey at Chemainus and find out if I will be living in Chemainus for six months after I return from Europe. Then there is the Artist's Tour in the fall. Potentially I may be out of this city and this apartment for all of 2007. If that isn't a way to slow things down with a guy then I don't know what is. If I don't get Chemainus then I will be back in Vancouver looking for work and able to spend more time getting to know Mr. Atkinson. Sort of good which ever way you swing it.

That is my ultimate goal - merry-go-round contentment no matter what. Boy or no boy. Role or no role. Debt or no debt. Europe or bust. I am ready to be consistently at peace and absolutely content with whatever shows up.

I am ready for 2007.

I just need to take a quick nap first.