Sunday, December 24, 2006
'Twas The Night Before Christmas
My niece Alex is the kind of kid that gets so much more delight out of the bow on the present than she does from the present itself. This is the gift she gives me...a chance to remember that what is most lovely is the simple and usually inexpensive gems hidden inside our every day.
I am feeling ... hmmmm...good. Hopeful. Expectant. A little afraid. Pretty content. It is Christmas Eve and I have gifts still to wrap, dinner tables to set, nieces to bathe and put to bed. This morning I retreated to the Calgary Centre For Positive Living and sat in for a long meditation. It was exactly what I needed. I invite you all to steal away some time to just sit in silence during the next few days, when things get too much. It is good to just sit and forget about it all. This morning for an hour I didn't care if I got the job, liked the boy, had thin enough thighs, was worth his love, could afford the trip, packed the right clothes, paid the shaw bill, impressed my family, said the right thing, purchased enough presents, was a fool for believing in htsnbn, knew my lines, should apologize for what I am or for those things I will never be. It was a needed hour. That is what I hope for you all, the eve before The Big Day.
Last night my Jax journey took one more step to becoming even more real. It is disconcerting how I can meet someone brand new, but feel like I have known him forever. Another benefit of the the meditation, it helped me calm the storm of voices that fight in my head in regards to falling for this amazing stranger. One voice says 'stop, stop, stop. you've gotten good at being alone. look what trusting brought you last time." The other voice says 'ohmygod, marry him tomorrow and have babies!!!!'. Then there is this other voice - no, not a voice as much as a feeling - and it shushes both voices. This feeling grounds me and I know that no folly ever really came from connecting with love to another human being, only in forgetting to love oneself. So, I wrap my new feelings for this sweet stranger around me like a blanket and breathe.
Will leave you with this beautiful translation of Our Father directly from the Aramaic into English (rather than from Aramaic to Greek To Latin to old English to modern English). A metaphysical prayer that can include us all, whatever we believe or don't believe.
O cosmic birther of all radiance and vibration.
Soften the ground of our being
and carve out a space within us
where your Presence can abide.
Fill us with your creativity so that
we may be empowered to bear
the fruit of your mission.
Let each of our actions bear fruit
in accordance with our desire.
Endow us with the wisdom to produce and share
What each being needs to grow and flourish.
Untie the tangled threads of destiny that bind us,
As we release others from the entanglement of past mistakes.
Do not let us be seduced by that which would divert us
from our true purpose,
But illuminate the opportunities of the present moment.
For love is the ground and the fruitful vision,
The birth, power and fulfillment,
as all is gathered and made whole once again.
I am feeling ... hmmmm...good. Hopeful. Expectant. A little afraid. Pretty content. It is Christmas Eve and I have gifts still to wrap, dinner tables to set, nieces to bathe and put to bed. This morning I retreated to the Calgary Centre For Positive Living and sat in for a long meditation. It was exactly what I needed. I invite you all to steal away some time to just sit in silence during the next few days, when things get too much. It is good to just sit and forget about it all. This morning for an hour I didn't care if I got the job, liked the boy, had thin enough thighs, was worth his love, could afford the trip, packed the right clothes, paid the shaw bill, impressed my family, said the right thing, purchased enough presents, was a fool for believing in htsnbn, knew my lines, should apologize for what I am or for those things I will never be. It was a needed hour. That is what I hope for you all, the eve before The Big Day.
Last night my Jax journey took one more step to becoming even more real. It is disconcerting how I can meet someone brand new, but feel like I have known him forever. Another benefit of the the meditation, it helped me calm the storm of voices that fight in my head in regards to falling for this amazing stranger. One voice says 'stop, stop, stop. you've gotten good at being alone. look what trusting brought you last time." The other voice says 'ohmygod, marry him tomorrow and have babies!!!!'. Then there is this other voice - no, not a voice as much as a feeling - and it shushes both voices. This feeling grounds me and I know that no folly ever really came from connecting with love to another human being, only in forgetting to love oneself. So, I wrap my new feelings for this sweet stranger around me like a blanket and breathe.
Will leave you with this beautiful translation of Our Father directly from the Aramaic into English (rather than from Aramaic to Greek To Latin to old English to modern English). A metaphysical prayer that can include us all, whatever we believe or don't believe.
O cosmic birther of all radiance and vibration.
Soften the ground of our being
and carve out a space within us
where your Presence can abide.
Fill us with your creativity so that
we may be empowered to bear
the fruit of your mission.
Let each of our actions bear fruit
in accordance with our desire.
Endow us with the wisdom to produce and share
What each being needs to grow and flourish.
Untie the tangled threads of destiny that bind us,
As we release others from the entanglement of past mistakes.
Do not let us be seduced by that which would divert us
from our true purpose,
But illuminate the opportunities of the present moment.
For love is the ground and the fruitful vision,
The birth, power and fulfillment,
as all is gathered and made whole once again.
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