5,6,7,8 or The Loneliest Tears

Ah, this should be on my Konkin Poems page...perhaps I will transfer it there...but tonight I feel just down right TIRED of doing everything alone. It takes super human effort to make one simple plan with one freaking person. I love Christmas - love it - but here I am tyring to give light to my love for the holiday alone. Very alone. I shop alone, sleep alone, eat alone, watch movies alone...I MEAN REALLY PEOPLE! ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. No human being should spend this much time alone. I feel like ever since I moved to Vancouver in 2004 I have become this person who does everything alone. Yes, even when I was living with Jordan. He was busy and I was unemployed almost the whole time and I did everything alone. I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT. All these grumpy, scroogy people at work who hate Christmas but have themselves surrounded by spouses and families and friends. It is wasted on them! Then there is me. My love life is experienced through a computer and my friends pretty much all live in a different province than the one I am currently in....AHHHHHHH...am I whining?? Yes. I am. I know. *Sigh* Well, what do self-indulgent people do when they are knee deep in angst? They write poetry. So, from discontent me to you...I hope you are all less alone than I...



From this empty room to a frozen car
Slipping and sliding on top the snow
From that frozen car to a smoke filled stage
A hundred eyes, but none I know

From a darkened stage and back to the car
A choreographed life, so safe, so staid
Park the car in the cold, go back inside
Another ending, another day

1,2,3 and a 4
Smile real big, pretend you are great
Make up covers the loneliest tears
And a 5, 6, 7, 8.

Make a Christmas list all by yourself
Shop and wrap and and sip some nog
Of course you're spending your night off inside
Just you, your MacBook and your god damned blog.

Email someone that you've never met
They know more about you than your very best friend
Lay on your bed that's not yours at all
Be secretly glad that this day has an end

1,2, 3 and a 4
Believe and be patient, hurry up, wait
Exit stage left to cry your loneliest tears
And a 5, 6, 7, 8.