Introducing KJ's Boobs

The opening of Act Two in my show goes a little something like this:
Cricket(me), Cratchet and Little Timmie enter over the Act Two overture as lights fade up on our bedroom. We are dressed in long, full Dickinson-esque night gowns and night caps, concealing beneath them sequin 'Broadway' vests and white (*shuddder*) pants. As lullabye music plays we stretch and yawn and prepare for bed when suddenly, out of nowhere, we hear strains of the song Fame. Confused and bewildered we look around, searching for an explanation when (light cue: full lights up on stage) the song Fame starts in loud and strong. Cricket/I get an excited gleam in my eye and on the first count of the second bar I face the audience and RIP open my nightgown (that is velcroed down the front) to reveal my sparkly, sexy broadway attire.

Tonight however, when I ripped open my nightgown I did not reveal my sequin vest. Nope, instead my vest decided to come completely and totally unbuttoned and, instead, I revealed my breasts. There was a confused look on the audience's face. I immediately looked down and saw my chest exposed. In horror and with one more bar of eight to gather myself and start singing lead, I flung my body around to face upstage and fumbled awkwardly to do the buttons back up. Then I bolted to my beginning position for the start of the song, leaned over to start my step snaps and found that my vest had come unbuttoned AGAIN. By this point the audience had started snickering and I was on the verge of tears. My back up dancers, not knowing what to do, just kept step snapping and I, well, I sorta step/snapped/tripped/fumbled to do up buttons and didn't sing. So there was all this dead space, just empty Fame track and some bad step snapping and world watching as I lost all sense of dignity. Or what there was left of it.

God, what a nightmare. Of course, nightmares always make for the best stories afterward, don't they?

The only news that usurps my breasts is that I did, in fact, GET MY MACBOOK TODAY. I am typing on him right now. I think tomorrow I may attempt at introduction Vlog so you can all meet him. You, my readers and friends, deserve to be introduced to my signifigant other. Like new lovers we are still bumbling around trying to learn the right buttons to push and the ways we can best please each other. But, even with the bumbling, he is the best I've had yet. (sighs with post-orgasmic pleasure).

Yes, it has been a mishmash of a day. I have felt elated and, at moments, inexplicably sad. Not sad about my embarassing strip show sad, but a really dark sad. Perhaps the sad comes from not hearing yet about my video audition, maybe because I reread some old HTSNBN emails when importing all my old email files into this new Mac Mail, maybe because it is cold and snowy and the nape of my neck longs to be kissed. For whatever reason, there it is.

I will leave you with my friend Shellest's newest song. It inhabits so quaintly those inexplicably sad moments...

A cold blue tailor goes so far
Measures deftly my stitches my scars
Humming and hemming she hangs onto me
A fastened and tangled melancholy

Fly sadness, lift from these clothes
Take to the mountains in ribbons and bows
A tremble of colour in a snow-spotted sky
Go sorrow, fly fly

My sleeves are dragging in this gloomy gown
The seams of sadness seem to weigh me down
She’s sewn herself to me, with threads and time
In gossamer guises, in patches and twine

Fly sadness, lift from these clothes
Take to the mountains in ribbons and bows
A tremble of colour in a snow-spotted sky
Go sorrow, fly fly

Silken sashes, dark as the thieves
Straps of velvet, gaberdine sleeves
Scarves woolen thickly, face very pale
So much to hold in, so much to veil.