Sunday, October 29, 2006
A Letter To Steve
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This was a letter I sent to a new actor/film maker friend of mine in Winnipeg who asked me to share some thoughts with him on his current conflict about wether or not he should take a job that looked more like a career and could potentially suck him into a life of 9-5 corporate drudgery where he would "wither away like the rest of the population". Here was my response.
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Steve...
I hear ya, I hear ya, I hear ya. I was exactly your age when I hit this exact wall. Obviously, I have no answers for you, but here are some of my thoughts, based on my experience and the experience of many other artist friends that have faced and chosen paths in this regard.
When I went on my hiatus from the theatre, it took so much pressure off my artistic self. I adored suddenly making real money and having a steady schedule and a consistent and safe life. No, it never felt like I was living my 'authentic' life, but I slurped up all that was great about suddenly feeling no pressure about paying bills and being able to commit to things because I knew I would be around. Plus, it suddenly seemed like I had more money, time and energy to BE creative. I took classes I usually would not have been able to afford and still found myself involved in creative projects.
Regardless, It seemed there was no way for me to escape Who I Was and I believe, neither will you. If you really are the storyteller and creative at heart that you say that you are, no 9-5 will ever slurp you up into its black void forever. If being an artist and living the life of an artist is your True North, then it will always lead you back again. Remember, it doesn't have to be an all or nothing choice. You won't be selling your soul to the devil. Or trapping yourself into not being able to UNmake that choice. The money will be lovely, but it will never become Enough. That being said, don't feel guilty if for awhile you decide to enjoy making a lot of money by doing something UN-artistic!
No matter how hard I have tried to run away from being an artist so that I could be something much more 'normal' and less stressful, I was always brought back to Who I Was. Now, I enjoy having a little bit of all of it. A little corporate money-making craziness followed by some gypsyish theatre mania smattered with a little techie computer geek design hullabulloo seasoned with a dash of behind-the-scenes arts admin dazzle and garnished with the steady hum of rewarding soul deepening spiritual healing-work brilliance.
Have your cake and eat it, too.
So, there, some thoughts. Whatever you choose, you will choose perfectly. Have no doubt. Forget about what everybody else thinks. I would love to meet up with ya in Europe, but would love to see ya feel like you made an empowered choice even more.
hope you're wearing mittens. 'tis freezing in these prairies!
KJ
This was a letter I sent to a new actor/film maker friend of mine in Winnipeg who asked me to share some thoughts with him on his current conflict about wether or not he should take a job that looked more like a career and could potentially suck him into a life of 9-5 corporate drudgery where he would "wither away like the rest of the population". Here was my response.
********************************************************
Steve...
I hear ya, I hear ya, I hear ya. I was exactly your age when I hit this exact wall. Obviously, I have no answers for you, but here are some of my thoughts, based on my experience and the experience of many other artist friends that have faced and chosen paths in this regard.
When I went on my hiatus from the theatre, it took so much pressure off my artistic self. I adored suddenly making real money and having a steady schedule and a consistent and safe life. No, it never felt like I was living my 'authentic' life, but I slurped up all that was great about suddenly feeling no pressure about paying bills and being able to commit to things because I knew I would be around. Plus, it suddenly seemed like I had more money, time and energy to BE creative. I took classes I usually would not have been able to afford and still found myself involved in creative projects.
Regardless, It seemed there was no way for me to escape Who I Was and I believe, neither will you. If you really are the storyteller and creative at heart that you say that you are, no 9-5 will ever slurp you up into its black void forever. If being an artist and living the life of an artist is your True North, then it will always lead you back again. Remember, it doesn't have to be an all or nothing choice. You won't be selling your soul to the devil. Or trapping yourself into not being able to UNmake that choice. The money will be lovely, but it will never become Enough. That being said, don't feel guilty if for awhile you decide to enjoy making a lot of money by doing something UN-artistic!
No matter how hard I have tried to run away from being an artist so that I could be something much more 'normal' and less stressful, I was always brought back to Who I Was. Now, I enjoy having a little bit of all of it. A little corporate money-making craziness followed by some gypsyish theatre mania smattered with a little techie computer geek design hullabulloo seasoned with a dash of behind-the-scenes arts admin dazzle and garnished with the steady hum of rewarding soul deepening spiritual healing-work brilliance.
Have your cake and eat it, too.
So, there, some thoughts. Whatever you choose, you will choose perfectly. Have no doubt. Forget about what everybody else thinks. I would love to meet up with ya in Europe, but would love to see ya feel like you made an empowered choice even more.
hope you're wearing mittens. 'tis freezing in these prairies!
KJ
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