Tuesday, September 12, 2006
I Want To Be A Man
I have decided tonight that I want to be a man.
Or at least think like one.
Hear me out.
Men, I am discovering, do not expend much of their mental energy on women. Women are the icing on a cake, but not the cake itself. Men, instead, find a thing - a career, a hobby, a sport, a passion - and obsess instead over that. Their 'thing' becomes their reason for living and loving a woman, well, that is like the side salad.
Men do not allow themselves to define who they are by the woman they are - or aren't - with. Men do not suffer over heart break and if they do, the suffering usually takes the form of them focusing even more intently on their 'thing'. Men are awesome at distracting themselves from the suffering.
Men have no biological clocks and thus have all the time in the world. Men do not need to talk for an hour about 'what it means' when they have just shared a spontaneous kiss with a female friend. Men can drop off the face of the planet better than women. Men's guilt lasts for about 24 hours and then they focus their mental energy back into their 'thing'. That is for the men that feel guilt.
I want to be a man. Because after this weekend - this week - HELL this past year - I have decided I am Done. Done with men romantically. I resign myself to not having a partner. I am going to find myself a 'thing' and just focus on that. Screw the dating. Enough of reading the blog of a man I saw twice, hardly know and is obviously NOT thinking about me. Never again with loving loving loving the boy with the backpack who could not love me forever. No more caring. No more making them the cake. From here on in, I am a man. From here on in, men are something I no longer trust as keepers of my heart.
In honour of this, I have updated Konkin Poems with something bitter, created a photo gallery dedicated to my female friends and changed the Konkin Question.
(I am also going to go back to Moose Jaw on Thursday I think. Not that that has anything at all to do with anything.)
All I gotta do is find me a 'thing', get good at abandonment and become totally self-absorbed with no clue or care of how my actions affect those that feel...
Then, not only will I be a man,
but I will be myself, aged 20.
Or at least think like one.
Hear me out.
Men, I am discovering, do not expend much of their mental energy on women. Women are the icing on a cake, but not the cake itself. Men, instead, find a thing - a career, a hobby, a sport, a passion - and obsess instead over that. Their 'thing' becomes their reason for living and loving a woman, well, that is like the side salad.
Men do not allow themselves to define who they are by the woman they are - or aren't - with. Men do not suffer over heart break and if they do, the suffering usually takes the form of them focusing even more intently on their 'thing'. Men are awesome at distracting themselves from the suffering.
Men have no biological clocks and thus have all the time in the world. Men do not need to talk for an hour about 'what it means' when they have just shared a spontaneous kiss with a female friend. Men can drop off the face of the planet better than women. Men's guilt lasts for about 24 hours and then they focus their mental energy back into their 'thing'. That is for the men that feel guilt.
I want to be a man. Because after this weekend - this week - HELL this past year - I have decided I am Done. Done with men romantically. I resign myself to not having a partner. I am going to find myself a 'thing' and just focus on that. Screw the dating. Enough of reading the blog of a man I saw twice, hardly know and is obviously NOT thinking about me. Never again with loving loving loving the boy with the backpack who could not love me forever. No more caring. No more making them the cake. From here on in, I am a man. From here on in, men are something I no longer trust as keepers of my heart.
In honour of this, I have updated Konkin Poems with something bitter, created a photo gallery dedicated to my female friends and changed the Konkin Question.
(I am also going to go back to Moose Jaw on Thursday I think. Not that that has anything at all to do with anything.)
All I gotta do is find me a 'thing', get good at abandonment and become totally self-absorbed with no clue or care of how my actions affect those that feel...
Then, not only will I be a man,
but I will be myself, aged 20.
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