Friday, July 28, 2006
Channeling Evelyn Lau
Holy holy holy holy holy holy holy.
Really, world. It was one post. It was one little post from the depths of the muck of a young woman's heart that had been previously crushed. I am truly amazed that it has spurred so much controversy. The emails, the comments - some saying WHAT KIND OF FREAK DISPLAYS THEIR LIFE IN PUBLIC LIKE THAT? some saying THANK YOU FOR BEING SO HONEST! some saying MOVE ON LITTLE GIRL AND LET GO OF THE GUY and some saying YOU HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO SAY THE THINGS YOU SAY...it is overwhelming. It was just a post. Tonight at dinner it started a huge debate about what should be public and what should be private and what exactly can be defined as libel or slander. I was raked over the coals for sharing my heart ache with the world and the people at the table raked each other over the coals arguing the ethics of this whole online world.
I just sat there and felt kinda sick to my stomache. It was just a post. It is just a blog. I am just a girl who had her heart broken and feels jealous that the man she called her best friend moved on so easily and effortlessly while she was still in such pain. Age ol' story. Simple. Many many people go through these same feelings and experiences every day. The only difference is that I didn't keep it to myself. No big deal, right?
Wrong.
What I am learning:
1. We are private people. We talk about safe topics and keep the really messy stuff to ourselves. We, as a society, love secrets. We will hunt down and kill anybody who tries to expose the private, secret stuff that we spend so much time protecting.
2. Shame is at large in the hearts of human beings everywhere.
3. Women are not supposed to feel anger, let alone rage. It is not accepted.
4. If you are going to use people's names and then say things about them out loud that they may not like, understand that you could be sued. Understand that there are always consequences to your actions.
5. If you want to be public about your life, get used to being disliked often.
6. We revere private people and harshly judge public people.
7. There is a misconception that by having a blog someone like myself keeps nothing private. This is false. There is a world that exists inside of me that I couldn't articulate with words, even if I was to try.
8. Tell the truth, expect criticism.
9. There is a bit of an addiction that must be addressed regarding connecting to the world through the safety of online communities, blogs, podcasts, chat rooms, forums, etc. I am addressing my addiction, don't worry.
10. For everyone that feels one thing strongly, there is always another person that feels the opposite is true just as strongly.
At the table, my coworker looked at me and the debate swirling around the room and mentioned Evelyn Lau. Not knowing what she was talking about, I googled Evelyn Lau tonight and was fascinated with what I read. Seems she is a well known Canadian author who writes very autobriographically and has a very 'confessional' style. She was sued a few years back by WP Kinsella for libel after she wrote about him in regards to a messy breakup between the two. She is known for her 'controversial willingness to breach the boundaries between public and private in the name of art'.
Not that this is art, but I think I am going to have start reading her stuff.
That, or stick to blogging about toothpaste.
Really, world. It was one post. It was one little post from the depths of the muck of a young woman's heart that had been previously crushed. I am truly amazed that it has spurred so much controversy. The emails, the comments - some saying WHAT KIND OF FREAK DISPLAYS THEIR LIFE IN PUBLIC LIKE THAT? some saying THANK YOU FOR BEING SO HONEST! some saying MOVE ON LITTLE GIRL AND LET GO OF THE GUY and some saying YOU HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO SAY THE THINGS YOU SAY...it is overwhelming. It was just a post. Tonight at dinner it started a huge debate about what should be public and what should be private and what exactly can be defined as libel or slander. I was raked over the coals for sharing my heart ache with the world and the people at the table raked each other over the coals arguing the ethics of this whole online world.
I just sat there and felt kinda sick to my stomache. It was just a post. It is just a blog. I am just a girl who had her heart broken and feels jealous that the man she called her best friend moved on so easily and effortlessly while she was still in such pain. Age ol' story. Simple. Many many people go through these same feelings and experiences every day. The only difference is that I didn't keep it to myself. No big deal, right?
Wrong.
What I am learning:
1. We are private people. We talk about safe topics and keep the really messy stuff to ourselves. We, as a society, love secrets. We will hunt down and kill anybody who tries to expose the private, secret stuff that we spend so much time protecting.
2. Shame is at large in the hearts of human beings everywhere.
3. Women are not supposed to feel anger, let alone rage. It is not accepted.
4. If you are going to use people's names and then say things about them out loud that they may not like, understand that you could be sued. Understand that there are always consequences to your actions.
5. If you want to be public about your life, get used to being disliked often.
6. We revere private people and harshly judge public people.
7. There is a misconception that by having a blog someone like myself keeps nothing private. This is false. There is a world that exists inside of me that I couldn't articulate with words, even if I was to try.
8. Tell the truth, expect criticism.
9. There is a bit of an addiction that must be addressed regarding connecting to the world through the safety of online communities, blogs, podcasts, chat rooms, forums, etc. I am addressing my addiction, don't worry.
10. For everyone that feels one thing strongly, there is always another person that feels the opposite is true just as strongly.
At the table, my coworker looked at me and the debate swirling around the room and mentioned Evelyn Lau. Not knowing what she was talking about, I googled Evelyn Lau tonight and was fascinated with what I read. Seems she is a well known Canadian author who writes very autobriographically and has a very 'confessional' style. She was sued a few years back by WP Kinsella for libel after she wrote about him in regards to a messy breakup between the two. She is known for her 'controversial willingness to breach the boundaries between public and private in the name of art'.
Not that this is art, but I think I am going to have start reading her stuff.
That, or stick to blogging about toothpaste.
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