It Sucks To Be Me

Ever heard of a musical called Avenue Q??
It is totally my favorite new show...I am currently listening to a song called It Sucks To Be Me and I am sorta laughing and crying all at the same time. The song followed another song called What Do You Do With a BA English?. There is another song called Purpose with a lyric about Finding Me...purrrrfect!...some of my other favorite songs include The Internet is for Porn, There's A Life Outside Your Apartment, Everybody's A Little Bit Racist and a beautiful heartbreak song called There's A Fine, Fine Line with lyrics that scream out my life soundtrack:

There's a fine, fine line
Between a lover and a friend;
There's a fine, fine line
between reality and pretend;
And you never know 'til you reach the top
If it was worth the uphill climb.

There's a fine, fine line
Between love
And a waste of time.

There's a fine, fine line
Between a fairy tale and a lie;
And there's a fine, fine line between
"you're wonderful" and "goodbye"
I guess if someone doesn't love you back,
It isn't such a crime,
But there's a fine, fine line
between love
And a waste of your time.

And I don't have the time
To waste on you anymore
I don't think that you even know
what you're looking for
For my own sanity,
I've got to close to the door
and walk away...
Oh...

There's a fine, fine line
Between together and not,
And there's a fine, fine line
Between what you wanted
And what you got,
You gotta go after the
Things you want while
You're still in your prime...

There's a fine, fine line
Between love
And a waste of time.

I love it!! Ah, this turning 30 thing has been hard, but I am surviving it. The bedbugs are back full force, so Monday will be about hiring professional help. That is distressing, but then again, so much is distressing these days. Ah well. I am starting to get used to it. My friends have been great and really trying to put out lots of effort to make this birthday good and I love them for it. But it just hurts. Suppose I will just listen to this bitter little musical, scratch my bites and keep on waiting. Like Avenue Q's finale song says:

"Everyone's a little bit unsatisfied,
Everyone goes 'round a little empty inside...
Each time you smile,
It'll only last a while.
Life may be scary,
But it's only temporary
Everything is life is only For Now."