Everything Changed, Nothing Has

This week has seemed surreal. I am working for Cynthia. That is now determined. Thrust back into the world of Real Estate I am scrambling to learn her business as fast as I can. I avoid making calls to leads because it truly terrifies me. In my spare moments I do my Real Estate homework which I couldn't want to do less, because It is now imperative that I get lisenced ASAP. Yesterday I stayed at the office until 6:30 and still didn't get half of the stuff done. After work, I walked to a seminar downtown and the wind and the rain ripped my umbrella into shreds. There I was, stressed about not finishing enough, scared to have to call people today, being whipped by the rain and soaked to the bone and all I wanted to do was go home. Freaking money. It has us all by the balls.

Jordan has taken to going in early and staying late. It is awful. The only reason it hasn't totally freaked me out is because now I, too, have something to suck up my time. Silly.

Not that I am not grateful for the job. I am. Amazing opportunity really. Just gotta face my fears and doubts face to face.

Can't get this song out of my head. (hope you can hear it).

During REM last night I dreamnt that I kept having babies and Jordan, aided by my cousin Leanne, kept throwing them out. Hmmmmm, analyze that.

Jennie moves out today and into her new condo. Seems like seconds ago she was moving in. Jessica will take her place today and I will have other new neighbours across the hall. His name is Ryan. Welcome Jessica and Ryan. Welcome to the building of lost souls.

Today feels like a big day, a surreal day. First day of a brand new month. So much possibility. Money starting to flow towards me. Change is goooooood.

So why can't I breathe?