Brokeback

Yesterday was Valentine's Day. I am almost 30.

Last night I watched Brokeback Mountain and it truly devestated me. I hardly cried at all. It wasn't that. It was devestation. Devestation that we are still not able to embrace love and sexuality between people of the same sex. Devestation that Jack Twist and so many others died for being who he is. Devestation that they never had the bravery to fully commit. Devestation that, even in what they could salvage amongst this fear filled world, their love was full of a passion that my life knows nothing about. I was devestated for the world, devestated for the fictional characters that told the true story of so many people out there, devestated for myself. My Valentine's Day ended with me sobbing in the tub in the dark. Alone.

I am hanging on by a very thin thread.