Joy Hunt

Last night I was awash with the overwhelming urge to wipe my slate clean and start from scratch.

Have you ever wanted to do that? Just start fresh, make all new friends, start a totally different career and discard totally what and who you used to be? Hmm. Last night I had that dream. It stemmed from a feeling I have had since the beginning of this blog, a feeling that just won't go away. It is the realization that I no longer 'belong' anywhere. That which used to be my 'family' is no longer fitting and there is no new 'family' that presents itself as a means of identification. And as much as I would love to say that, at least, I 'belong' in my partnership and that we will become our own family, I no longer have that as a safety net, either.

I suppose what keeps me from wiping the slate clean is that I have no focused place in which to begin this new portrait of myself. I guess, until then, I will and must continue to hang out here in Limbo. Konkin on her Joy Hunt (I replaced the 'b' with a 'y' and feel that much more accurately describes what's going on here). It is probably good for me to be in this place of floating non-belong-ness. On some level I trust it is making me a better person.

I wonder if they are hiring in Nunuvut?