Wednesday, December 07, 2005
Being From Moose Jaw
Just finished a juicy conversation about Moose Jaw with who other than Jennie, my Moose Jaw counterpart.
I like that I am from Moose Jaw. I look though my yearbook and I get a sort of thrill at seeing all of us, so back woods, so rural, so Saskatchewan. It is familiar to me. It makes me feel safe. I like looking at those faces now that I am 29 and completely removed from that time in my life and seeing the beauties that I was blind to when I was experiencing them. I remember stealing Mom's car when I only had my learner's license to drive up and down the back streets. The whole gang would pile in the car and I would drive us to Mac's for a slurpee. Then I would drive home. Exhilerating. That was our night. That one event was enough to fuel us until the next weekend. God, life was simple.
Jen and I looked at all the boys we dated or wished we had dated or were ashamed to say we had dated and giggled like we were 14 again. We updated each other on the various folk we've run into...a super skinny model girl who is now terribly large...the super huge guy who has lost 200 lbs and become hot...the underachiever who is now running a small country...the king of high school who is now working at the Jiffy Lube. I look at myself in Grade 11 and remember how angry I was, how anxious to get the hell outta there. I look at Jennie and wonder what it must have been like for her to win so many scholarships, but to have never really lived her teen years. I am curious about so many of them...and in so many ways I feel like they are all figments of my imagination. Over ten years ago now I was showering in that locker room and sitting in that band room. So much has changed. So much.
13 days until I am home. My money fears are bearing down on me and I seem to get busier and busier and busier no matter the fact that I am unemployed. I want it to feel like Christmas, but mostly it just feels stressful. Today, typing at my computer, I felt my heart race in a way that I know is not healthy. I need to go home. I need the safety. I need to a place I can call my own.
For any of my Moose Jaw buddies that are reading this --- I will see you soon. Keep a candle in the window for me. I will always return - in some form or another - time and time again.
You can take the girl outta Moose Jaw, but you can't take the Moose Jaw outta the girl.
I like that I am from Moose Jaw. I look though my yearbook and I get a sort of thrill at seeing all of us, so back woods, so rural, so Saskatchewan. It is familiar to me. It makes me feel safe. I like looking at those faces now that I am 29 and completely removed from that time in my life and seeing the beauties that I was blind to when I was experiencing them. I remember stealing Mom's car when I only had my learner's license to drive up and down the back streets. The whole gang would pile in the car and I would drive us to Mac's for a slurpee. Then I would drive home. Exhilerating. That was our night. That one event was enough to fuel us until the next weekend. God, life was simple.
Jen and I looked at all the boys we dated or wished we had dated or were ashamed to say we had dated and giggled like we were 14 again. We updated each other on the various folk we've run into...a super skinny model girl who is now terribly large...the super huge guy who has lost 200 lbs and become hot...the underachiever who is now running a small country...the king of high school who is now working at the Jiffy Lube. I look at myself in Grade 11 and remember how angry I was, how anxious to get the hell outta there. I look at Jennie and wonder what it must have been like for her to win so many scholarships, but to have never really lived her teen years. I am curious about so many of them...and in so many ways I feel like they are all figments of my imagination. Over ten years ago now I was showering in that locker room and sitting in that band room. So much has changed. So much.
13 days until I am home. My money fears are bearing down on me and I seem to get busier and busier and busier no matter the fact that I am unemployed. I want it to feel like Christmas, but mostly it just feels stressful. Today, typing at my computer, I felt my heart race in a way that I know is not healthy. I need to go home. I need the safety. I need to a place I can call my own.
For any of my Moose Jaw buddies that are reading this --- I will see you soon. Keep a candle in the window for me. I will always return - in some form or another - time and time again.
You can take the girl outta Moose Jaw, but you can't take the Moose Jaw outta the girl.
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