Crushes and other such Phenomenon

This post is for any of my loyal readers that have been reading this for the last year.

Remember my Crush?? The one that i blogged and blogged about? The one who's journey you watched me go through as I obsessed and obsessed and finally confessed? It seems like a lifetime ago. So soon after I confessed my feelings to the Crush (and he had zero reaction if I do remember correctly) I met Jordan. Then I fell in love with Jordan. And then I pretty much all together had something new to obsess over. LOL.

Thing is, my Crush, Mr. Jamieson, has always remained mine and Jordan's swing teacher. So, it wasn't like the Crush went far far away or anything. And as life went on and things changed and I evolved and my relationship grew stronger, I had to wonder...do you ever really stop having a crush?

I think you do. I think you do stop crushing. Your mind is not totally occupied. You don't have trouble breathing when they are in the room. In fact, you can see them with their new somebody and be really happy for them. But I am not sure you ever stop being attracted to them. It is just the attraction doesn't CRUSH you. It is just a familiar note in the chord of life.

I am bringing this up, because last night, Kevin asked me to dance. Now, this seems pretty minor, but I think this may have been the first or second time we have ever danced together. It is unusual, trust me. And not only did we dance, but it was fun. We laughed and danced and I didn't care if I fucked up and he just sorta did what he does and it was amazing. At the end of it, I hugged him and thanked him and couldn't stop but wonder why the dance had happenned at all. Then I went over to talk to another mutual friend and I found out. Kevin is leaving Vancouver. He is moving to Toronto. Somehow I am sure that that has something to do with our dance.

So, another level of finality comes to this strange journey that I have been on (or not been on) with crush-boy. I felt sad to know he was leaving. I felt glad that we got a chance to dance before he left. Maybe in our dance we got to say alot of what we weren't gonna say otherwise. I was even amazingly glad that, after it all, I got to leave the dance holding hands with the sweetest one of them all. It has all been perfect, this journey. I know that. And yet, It leaves a bittersweet taste in my mouth.

Adios Kevin J. May Toronto bring you what it brought me so many years ago. A fresh perspective in an otherwise shrinking world. Thanks for being my teacher in more ways than one. I guess now I will just have to crush on Adam Brody from the OC...

seeing how I like younger men.