Thursday, February 17, 2005
Metaphor
The Bay isn't a department store. It is freaky mirrored maze from which many may never return.
There is this strange phenomena in downtown cores of large cities where these underground mall tunnels connect one office tower to another. Sometimes an escalator will suck you upstairs into a larger mall area or, if you're really lucky, The Bay. This is where I was sucked into yesterday.
Which if fine, except that when it came time to leave, I couldn't find my way out. I didn't just want out, I wanted to go back to MY specific tunnel so that I could get to MY specific office tower.
I mean, I KNEW that somehow I had gotten IN, so it followed logically that I should be able to get OUT. If only life were that simple.
Around and around I walked. In circles. Literally. I knew I was on the right floor - men's apparel - but I still couldn't figure out where it was that had first walked in. Interestingly, I passed several sales people in my totally freaked out trek through boxer briefs and golf jackets, but I couldn't stop to ask them directions. Not because I was embarrassed or full of pride. But because what exactly would I ask them? "Hi. I was in a random tunnel connected to my generic office tower and then took an escalator onto this floor. Do you know how I can GET OUTTA THIS FREAKIN' STORE????!!!!!!!!!"
It doesn't help that they mirror the entire store to add to the illusion that it is the biggest department store in the world. This just added to my terror and kept reminding me that I had started to grow a big, ole' cold sore on my bottom lip that morning. Ug.
After the sixteenth time of passing Tommy Hilfiger, I decided I was hungry. So I veered off to an escalator that I knew existed and found a found court. This was bound to get me even more lost, but I figured if I was gonna be lost I may as well not be starving as well. With food in my belly, my determination grew strong. Wasn't I the same girl that had managed a multi-million dollar resort with no experience and a degree in tap dancing? Wasn't I the same woman who had sold everything she owned, moved across the country and started a brand new brilliant life? Wasn't I, after all, a MacLise - the highest form of superior intellect in the free world? I could get out of The Bay. I headed back to Gucci.
Suddenly it came to me. If I was sucked UP into the store then I just needed to locate any and all escalator going down that would have a corresponding 'up' attached to it. Once I found out where I had entered, I was certain there would be a logical solution to finding my exit. Back into the maze I started my hunt and, miracle of miracles, by focusing in on looking for down escalators I found my entrance point, right there by the cologne. With the sound of a heavenly choir singing, I slowly took a 180 degree view of all that was around the area and ..... and..... and....
There it was.
My escalator. Attached to MY generic tunnel attached to my freakin' office tower.
I fled like a prisoner from my penitentiary.
Vowing to never return.
Next time, i'm sticking to London Drugs.
There is this strange phenomena in downtown cores of large cities where these underground mall tunnels connect one office tower to another. Sometimes an escalator will suck you upstairs into a larger mall area or, if you're really lucky, The Bay. This is where I was sucked into yesterday.
Which if fine, except that when it came time to leave, I couldn't find my way out. I didn't just want out, I wanted to go back to MY specific tunnel so that I could get to MY specific office tower.
I mean, I KNEW that somehow I had gotten IN, so it followed logically that I should be able to get OUT. If only life were that simple.
Around and around I walked. In circles. Literally. I knew I was on the right floor - men's apparel - but I still couldn't figure out where it was that had first walked in. Interestingly, I passed several sales people in my totally freaked out trek through boxer briefs and golf jackets, but I couldn't stop to ask them directions. Not because I was embarrassed or full of pride. But because what exactly would I ask them? "Hi. I was in a random tunnel connected to my generic office tower and then took an escalator onto this floor. Do you know how I can GET OUTTA THIS FREAKIN' STORE????!!!!!!!!!"
It doesn't help that they mirror the entire store to add to the illusion that it is the biggest department store in the world. This just added to my terror and kept reminding me that I had started to grow a big, ole' cold sore on my bottom lip that morning. Ug.
After the sixteenth time of passing Tommy Hilfiger, I decided I was hungry. So I veered off to an escalator that I knew existed and found a found court. This was bound to get me even more lost, but I figured if I was gonna be lost I may as well not be starving as well. With food in my belly, my determination grew strong. Wasn't I the same girl that had managed a multi-million dollar resort with no experience and a degree in tap dancing? Wasn't I the same woman who had sold everything she owned, moved across the country and started a brand new brilliant life? Wasn't I, after all, a MacLise - the highest form of superior intellect in the free world? I could get out of The Bay. I headed back to Gucci.
Suddenly it came to me. If I was sucked UP into the store then I just needed to locate any and all escalator going down that would have a corresponding 'up' attached to it. Once I found out where I had entered, I was certain there would be a logical solution to finding my exit. Back into the maze I started my hunt and, miracle of miracles, by focusing in on looking for down escalators I found my entrance point, right there by the cologne. With the sound of a heavenly choir singing, I slowly took a 180 degree view of all that was around the area and ..... and..... and....
There it was.
My escalator. Attached to MY generic tunnel attached to my freakin' office tower.
I fled like a prisoner from my penitentiary.
Vowing to never return.
Next time, i'm sticking to London Drugs.
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