Abracadabra

There is something very disconcerting about confronting your boyfriend in a rage and to have him react kinda like this:

"Oh my god, Krista. I completely understand why you are angry. Now that i think about it, i would be angry, too. I am so sorry. I want to learn from this and become the best partner possible for you and for us. Please forgive my insensitivity. I love you."

I mean, the anger rug gets tugged right out from under you!! Suddenly you can see so clearly the ways that YOU possibly let the partnership down and are inspired to dig down deep and love him with more purity than ever before. Suddenly, men don't seem like such scum after all.

Two other points i would like to make:

Kudos to Jennie's card and to the stranger that approached Jo and i at the Centre last Sunday. Both these people took the time to stop and acknowledge the connection between Jo and i, the happiness, the fact that a couple in the world seemed to be truly working. Usually we are met with people teasing us that we are 'making them nauseous' with our joy. And then, in the face of a world of people divorcing and struggling and lonely, you both feel guilty. So, thank you JennieG and the Kind Stranger for reminding us that giving the world an outward showing of love is NEVER a bad thing. There is no need for jealousy, because all of us deserve and are right around the corner from finding a spiritual, sacred partnership. There is so much time we spend mourning the ending ('shifting') of these joinings that if we want to see some real change perhaps we gotta start spending even MORE time celebrating them while they are in tact.

Now, when i see shmooshy couples on the street, i smile right at them as a silent way of saying thank you.

Also, last night at dance class Kevin J (the afore mentioned "Crush" of previous posts) told me that his bird and best friend Chump had died. You could tell his heart was broken and suddenly the crush and the letter and the silence and all the untalked-about stuff between us stepped aside and made room for some love. I liked Chump. He, like Kev and Iain and that apartment, symbolize one of the greatest, hardest, strangest summers of my life. The thought of Kevin coming home to find Chump drowned is a horrifying thought. Those two were best friends and no matter how i feel or felt about Kevin...i hate to think of him hurting and alone. In loss, KevJ and i connected in a dance class for about 2 minutes. And It was --- healing.

But connecting always is.

Connecting All Ways

Is.