Wednesday, January 12, 2005
The Lost Girls
With every year older i grow, femail friendships have taken on a whole new importance. My most challanging and, thus, rewarding friendships have been with women. There have been ebbs and there have been tides. This morning i felt the tug of a tide rushing in. After a year and a half, Karen Bender's name appearred in my inbox. And i couldn't have been more thrilled.
Karen and i had a connection of spirit, intellect and common interest. I always enjoyed her presence because she was a talker, like me, smart-as-a-whip, like me and was a heart-centered guru disguised as a tough, head-centered gal, like me. But there was an undercurrent of competition that existed under our bond and, like anything fueled by Ego, it eventually drown out the love. When we finally let go of the friendship, we were batterred and bruised. For me, Karen had become a person that reflected all the things i despised about myself. In this way, she was a great teacher...but, for this reason, i felt it was also time to love myself and forgive myself and allow myself to say 'i am a wonderful, kind and precious human being and deserve to be treated that way.' I am sure Karen was going through a similar journey. We parted ways. She got married. She moved to Australia and a year and a half later she has emailed me.
I meet her with love. As i would meet any of the old femail friendships of my past that went astray. I am not the same person that i was 2 years ago. I know my boundaries and understand i deserve to be treated like gold, but i love my sisters. I crave more goddess bonding here in Vancouver and welcome healthy, supportive friendships with somebodies who understand living on this earth with boobs.
In that vein, let me shout from the rooftops - JENNIE ARRIVES TOMORROW!!!
So, to the Melanie's, Sara-Jeanne's, Karen's, Naomi's, Katherine's of my world...to the femail aunts and cousins that i have avoided and blamed...to each and every woman who decided they disliked me just by observing me in a room and to each and every woman i have hurt for the love of a boy, i say...forgive me. I send you my humble responsibility and committment to heal any wounds that ask for healing.
After all, us creatures with boobs gotta stick together.
Karen and i had a connection of spirit, intellect and common interest. I always enjoyed her presence because she was a talker, like me, smart-as-a-whip, like me and was a heart-centered guru disguised as a tough, head-centered gal, like me. But there was an undercurrent of competition that existed under our bond and, like anything fueled by Ego, it eventually drown out the love. When we finally let go of the friendship, we were batterred and bruised. For me, Karen had become a person that reflected all the things i despised about myself. In this way, she was a great teacher...but, for this reason, i felt it was also time to love myself and forgive myself and allow myself to say 'i am a wonderful, kind and precious human being and deserve to be treated that way.' I am sure Karen was going through a similar journey. We parted ways. She got married. She moved to Australia and a year and a half later she has emailed me.
I meet her with love. As i would meet any of the old femail friendships of my past that went astray. I am not the same person that i was 2 years ago. I know my boundaries and understand i deserve to be treated like gold, but i love my sisters. I crave more goddess bonding here in Vancouver and welcome healthy, supportive friendships with somebodies who understand living on this earth with boobs.
In that vein, let me shout from the rooftops - JENNIE ARRIVES TOMORROW!!!
So, to the Melanie's, Sara-Jeanne's, Karen's, Naomi's, Katherine's of my world...to the femail aunts and cousins that i have avoided and blamed...to each and every woman who decided they disliked me just by observing me in a room and to each and every woman i have hurt for the love of a boy, i say...forgive me. I send you my humble responsibility and committment to heal any wounds that ask for healing.
After all, us creatures with boobs gotta stick together.
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